Category: Roy Baldwin

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The Right Question

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Imagine for a moment that the CEO or boss of the company you work at is this huge toddler, meandering his way around the office, asking this simple yet profound question, “Why?” Now, I am not talking about the occasional why. It’s the “Why” about everything.

“People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.”

Simon Sinek, author of Start with Why

Well, the truth is, we need to always be asking and evaluating the “why” behind our decisions and processes. It helps you stay on mission. As someone who has had 3 major job changes in the past 12 years and twice as the leader of the organization, asking lots of why’s are critical to the assessment the leader makes of the organization. I feel like anytime you make an assumption about any decision, process, or program you leave yourself open for problems and challenges.

You see, I believe in not just asking any question or questions, but asking the right question or questions.

You see, I believe that great leadership is about asking the right questions. The day you stop asking questions about who you are (yourself and others) and where you are going (of yourself and others) is the day your leadership has failed.

By asking the right questions, we can then arrive at the right answers.

I believe there are many benefits to asking the right question:

  • It can reveal the inner thoughts and feelings of a person (or organization) who is answering the question, as well as the person (or organization) who is asking the question.
  • The right question allows for ownership of the issue or problem at hand.
  • The right question can not only teach responsibility but it models what responsibility looks like.
  • It creates teachable moments and lifelong learning. (Deuteronomy 4:32-33) What do I mean by “lifelong learning?” It’s the belief that learning isn’t just what happens in a classroom. All of life is about learning and the learning will continue as long as I draw breath.
  • It provides opportunities to process truth and dispel lies.
  • It creates the right moment to have courage and take a risk versus accepting the status quo and what’s comfortable.

Did you ever notice how Jesus interacted with people? He almost always asked a question to get to the heart of their need.  John Marshall, Bishop of Burlington, Vermont, and later Springfield, Massachusetts, wrote a book titled But Who Do You Say That I Am? In the book, he collected and listed all the questions Jesus asked in the Gospels and there are over 100 times Jesus asks a question.

Some of Jesus greatest miracles started with the right question? He was able to get to the heart of the matter by his ability to ask, listen, assess, and then he acted. His work was always redemptive and purposeful.

So often we fail to listen. We start with lecture and stating our position, and in all sense shutting down the conversation or relationship before it even has a chance. I would encourage you to look at the benefits of asking the right question and see how your situation, regardless of the environment, can lead to better outcomes.

Roy Baldwin

What are You Known for?

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Before I came to Christian Heritage, I had seen the best and worst life had to offer many families and kids. My path from Edwin Gould Academy to Milton Hershey School to Focus on the Family to Monadnock Christian Ministries has shown me a great deal about the pain and brokenness of the breakdown of the family. During our summer and winter camps at Monadnock I often wondered if we were a camp or an emotional “triage unit.”

The pain and brokenness that many teens and adults had experienced, whether of their own decisions and choices or the impact others had on them, defined them. The decisions and choices we make every day flow from these identities and they begin to define our future. They reveal what we believe about ourselves and our worthiness for love—both to give and receive it. It also reveals what we believe about God.

What Would People Say of You

If I were to interview your family or your closest friends and I ask them, “What phrase or words would you use to describe ______ (your name)?” what would they say?

“He loves his family!”

“She loves her husband!”

“She loves to give to others!”

“He is committed to his job!”

“He loves to drink and party!”

“She loves to shop!”

“She is a straight A student!”

“He loves God.”

What are you known for?

A few years ago Karen decided to give out our Valentine’s Day candy a little differently to our family. She placed a basket of candy in the middle of our dining room table after dinner and said, “You can grab a piece of candy but you need to give it to another person and then tell them something you love about them.” Our kids’ hands dived into the basket.

As we sat there going around the table I loved seeing the interaction. Then Emily said something that surprised me. She said, “Daddy, the way you love mommy!” Huh??? She loves me for loving her mom. I was shocked by her response.

Isn’t it amazing what our kids see? Now, I confess I don’t always get it right. I often feel like I fall short as a husband and dad. But this is the point….people are constantly watching. People can see, especially our family, those things that have grabbed the attention of our hearts and time. I am glad that at that moment my wife made the list of what is most important to me and my kids noticed.

You see, all of us are known for something. Maybe it’s our way of having a good time and letting off steam, maybe it’s the way we express our anger, maybe it’s the way we express love. Maybe for some of us we are known differently depending on who we are around.

Paul writes, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:12-14).

As we strive to live up to our calling and mission in life, my prayer is that we would be known by those same virtues as Paul describes. I would also pray that they would be evident to my wife and kids, my friends and extended family. That is how I would like to be known.

One word of caution: Don’t let your busyness and schedule define your value; your schedule simply lets you know what you are pursuing. A quick way to find out about what is defining you is to pull your calendar from the past week. What have you spent the most time on? What does your activities say about your pursuits and identity. It might be time to re-prioritize. “The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones.” ― Brandon Sanderson, “The Alloy of Law”

How about you? What qualities would you like to be known for and are you actively pursuing them? 

Roy Baldwin

Throwing the Baby Out with the Bathwater

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I have been feeling that those championing the cause of social justice are well intentioned but are doing one of two things: they are “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”—which means “to lose valuable ideas or things in your attempt to get rid of what is not wanted” (Cambridge Dictionary) OR as expressed in the book by Amy Tan, Saving Fish From Drowning, “that even what seems noble has severe and devastating consequences.” She writes,

A pious man explained to his followers: “It is evil to take lives and noble to save them. Each day I pledge to save a hundred lives. I drop my net in the lake and scoop out a hundred fishes. I place the fishes on the bank, where they flop and twirl. ‘Don’t be scared,’ I tell those fishes. ‘I am saving you from drowning.’ Soon enough, the fishes grow calm and lie still. Yet, sad to say, I am always too late. The fishes expire. And because it is evil to waste anything, I take those dead fishes to market and I sell them for a good price. With the money I receive, I buy more nets so I can save more fishes.”

C.S. Lewis sums this up well for me in how I have been thinking and contemplating about the social justice movement and what seems like “cancel culture” is really after. He states, “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.”

In an attempt to rid our country and ourselves of the shame of the past and present we are forfeiting our very freedoms; this in itself is creating something shame worthy. Shame cannot heal shame which I believe is at the root of the hypocrisy and our “whataboutism” we see and are experiencing. We have moved away from relativism—your truth is your truth—to a culture of shame and blame.

You see, I find myself grateful for my faith in Christ, because He has stated a different case for our lives. In our sin, He didn’t come to throw the baby (humankind) out with the bathwater (sin). He allowed Himself to be thrown out with the bathwater. He died, conquering sin and death AND the shame associated with sin and death, and He redeemed what was lost by dying the death I deserved. The beauty of the cross and empty tomb is that he conquered shame. Shame is not just feeling guilty about something. Shame at the core says, “I am not worthy of love or value.” I know my moments of surrender, as I pursue this deeper understanding of my faith, always came in the moments I knew I could not carry the burden and weight of my life and the sin and havoc I was causing myself and others. My experience of Jesus has never been one of shame…but of forgiveness and the opportunity freedom in Christ gave me.

The conflict I often experience with my faith and my understanding of His Gospel is then how it is played out in our churches. We either reject the mercy or grace our faith offers or we reject truth. Our churches have to embrace both grace and truth, mercy and justice. Jesus often commanded us to “love our enemies,” “speak truth IN love,” “to stand firm…knowing we battle not against flesh and blood,” but typically many are turning away from the very truth we have been taught to uphold because of the hypocrisy of our doing not lining up with our being.

A world that is broken and seeking answers sees the very hope I cling to as nothing more than religion: a bunch of rules that are oppressive. If that is what we are teaching, we have become the very thing Christ detested. Did Christ die for nothing then? Of course not but I have to wrestle with the significance of my salvation.

Is there evidence in my life that his death and resurrection have actually made a difference in my life and those around me?

The answer I believe is found in Philippians 2:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

I am glad Jesus’ approach wasn’t “throwing the baby out with the bathwater.” I am glad He saw in us something of value and significance, that our sin and all of its messiness was worth redeeming. It cost Him everything…and I cannot be afraid of it costing me everything.

Here is the full quote from C.S. Lewis.

May you contemplate your own life, like I am, to see the truth of what really is at stake.My contention is that good men (not bad men) consistently acting upon that position [imposing “the good”] would act as cruelly and unjustly as the greatest tyrants. They might in some respects act even worse. Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some points be satiated; but those who torment us for their own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to heaven yet at the same time likely to make a Hell of earth. This very kindness stings with intolerable insults. To be ‘cured’ against one’s will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on the level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.

Roy Baldwin

Stalwart Faith

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My son and I are HUGE Lord of the Rings fans. We have read the books, watched the movies on opening night, and played the video games. When my son turned 13 we did a “rite of passage” birthday celebration. He received a photo frame of three pictures: a photo collage of his family and friends, a passage of scripture (Proverbs 3), and the meaning of his name. We also gave him a necklace with the word Stalwart and Joshua 1:9.

I LOVE the meaning of stalwart as defined by Tolkien’s novels and it is summed up so well in this theme analysis from Litcharts:

The Fellowship’s journey reveals this is not the case, as the hobbits surprise all with their continuous abilities to overcome hardship. Most tellingly, the humble Frodo consistently rejects the Ring’s evil power, despite a man as traditionally heroic as Boromir yielding to its temptation. Tolkien therefore implies that one of the most physically inconsequential and least talented characters is the most heroic due to his moral integrity—Frodo’s resilience in persevering towards a doomed quest while overcoming his fears and failures is the ultimate form of courage.

It is selflessness, particularly in the forms of humility and service, that Tolkien promotes as the key aspect of courage and heroism…These forms of selflessness arise from a loyalty to one another and to their home, contrasting with the goal of earning personal glory that drives traditional heroes. Furthermore, The Fellowship of the Ring does not suggest that heroes are fearless, but rather that courage requires individuals to acknowledge and deal with their fears—even if there is little hope in defeating them completely.

One of my favorite quotes from Lord of the Rings is near the end as Middle Earth takes one last stand against evil and their king, Aragorn states, “A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day.”

Being stalwart is showing selfless courage in the face of insurmountable odds. This is not determined by our size or strength or our intellect…but by our heart.

This week our son is graduating from college. We had an amazing conversation around this theme as he was presenting his capstone project on being a “Stalwart Writer.” This is what I wrote to him and want to share with you…and my desire for you and me is that we would be stalwart in our lives:

Being stalwart is embracing the reality that failure is likely…but do it you must. Its why character counts and more importantly knowing God uses all experiences for His glory and your good.

Failure doesn’t have the final say in your life.

God does.

The cornerstone piece of having a stalwart heart is found in Romans 8:37-39. Our courage is found here: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels or rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor power, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Roy Baldwin

The Gifts of Failure

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After 45 minutes of deliberating, the church leadership took the offer back off the table. The promising opportunity to work for the church was gone. The offer not only had employment implications for me and my family but the offer we put on a house. What was supposed to be icing on the cake became a moment of failure for me. I learned that day how powerful perceptions are, regardless of whether they are true or false.

We had so many questions, as Karen and I were left picking up the pieces and figuring out what was next. How could a God that is good and worthy of our praise lead us into a situation where everything seemed to be lining up and then at the finish line pull the rug from out under our feet?

Have you ever wondered where God was in your situation?

FAILURE

It’s a word we hate so much that we like to pair it with others words such as “but” or “however.” We don’t like the story of failure without a dose of good news with it. We like reading the feel-good stories of Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, or Abraham Lincoln — all of whom experienced failures in their lives but somehow were able to overcome the odds. We like their stories because they give us hope.

But what about the rest of us?

For every Steve Jobs, there are many of us who haven’t experienced success at all, but what feels like one failure after another. If we just look at our Facebook feeds, for every “feel good story” we see story after story of setbacks, loss, illness, job loss…you name it. We might not necessarily see those as failures but for those experiencing them, it sure does feel that way. Am I cursed? Did I do something wrong? What could I have done differently? All these questions go through our minds and at times can be quite paralyzing.

What do you do when your story hasn’t started upward yet?

The truth is many of us don’t like these stories until we know there is a good ending…maybe we need a new perspective.  How do we see failure as a gift?

THE GIFTS OF FAILURE

Over the years I have learned some valuable lessons like when the job offer was taken off the table; let go because of organizational restructure; camp closing down and I am now seeing these lessons as gifts:

Gift One: God is worthy of my trust.

God is asking, “Do you trust me even when it doesn’t make sense? Will you obey my leadings in your life as you step into the unknown?”

F.B. Meyer wrote in Streams in the Desert: “The education of our faith is incomplete if we have yet to learn that God’s providence works through loss, that there is a ministry to us through failure and the fading of things, and that He gives the gift of emptiness. …One way or the other, we must learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver.”

Gift Two: Obedience doesn’t always lead to blessing.

What is the point of obedience—my comfort or blessing? Obedience to God’s leading in our lives is for Him to determine what He does. I have to relinquish all control, all of my rights to myself. Yet, that is exactly what He demands.

Did you ever notice how parents demand obedience from their children? There is a BIG difference between the parent who says, “Because I say so” and the one who says, “Because I love you.” Ultimately we want our children to obey, even if it hurts or costs something at that moment because we have a better future in mind.

The job offer being taken off the table made absolutely no sense to me. We had friends especially in the church who were grieved just as much as we were. Some even expressed their hurt by saying, “how can you even stay here based on what they did?” Our simple response, “it’s our home! How can I call something home and only accept the good?”

Gift Three: Obedience can lead to a transformed view of self and who He is…if you allow it

So, you might be wondering why they took the job offer back. One of the concerns raised about my role of leadership in the church was the perception I was a troublemaker. I stirred up problems. If this was true and I was supposed to live a life “above reproach” then there was no way I could “hold office” in the church.

Now, I admit I am not a perfect person. I have definitely made my share of mistakes…but the notion I was a troublemaker was false.

After the offer was taken off the table, Karen and I stayed at the church and continued to serve. We did not speak falsely of anyone, although we expressed our pain over the decision. Over the course of the next few months God made it very clear He wanted me to walk a different path vocationally. Those months were very difficult ones for us. However, God gave me many opportunities as we served our Church (Sunday school teacher, nursery, etc.) to absolutely destroy the perception that I was a troublemaker, especially when the opportunity to create troubles were gift-wrapped for me.

Gift Four: Obedience serves His purposes not mine.

This was probably the biggest takeaway for me. 2 Chronicles 16:9 is one of my favorite verses…”The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him…”

The goal of obedience is not for my personal comfort or blessing. Don’t get me wrong. I love the verses that say that God will never leave us or forsake us; that He has good things in store for those who are His; and that He will see me through to completion. I love those promises. But those promises are based on my willingness to live surrendered to His purpose, whether there is anything in it for me or not because it’s not about me. It’s about something bigger.

THE TAKEAWAY OF FAILURE

Failure is inevitable. In fact, God can use it powerfully in our lives. The reality for us is: Do we trust Him as we step forward in obedience?

As I look back on that time, God was preparing me to work in adoption and therapeutic foster care, which prepared me for my season at Focus on the Family, then as a Director of Monadnock Ministries, and now at Christian Heritage.  I find it fascinating that God guided my steps into foster care after the offer was taken off the table and here I am 13 years later leading a foster care agency. All of these experiences were leading to the next thing.

We need to bring a different perspective to the failures we experience in life because ultimately, as we walk the path in front of us out of obedience, we will experience failure and success. The true question is, “Will I trust whatever I experience as a gift from a loving and generous Giver?”